Save Punctuation

What’s the point of an exclamation mark?
What does it even do?
How do I know when to use one?
And when, perhaps, to use two?

As F. Scott Fitzgerald once told us
It’s like laughing aloud at your joke.
If we let people do that with English
Our language will soon be broke.*

The young are especially fullsome
With their use of the wretched thing.
They love to write tweets and emails
With Wow!!! and Joy!!! and Bling!!!

We really must tidy up English
And make people write it just right.
If we let them write incorrectly
They’ll whisper rebellion at night.

We have plans for the dear old question next
It needs to come into line.
“How are you doing old boy?”
Yes, that usage is fine.

So our edict is plain and it’s simple
We’d like you to teach to the test.
Get rid of the damn exclamation
And we’ll take care of the rest.


Please take a look at Michael Tidd’s blog.

*intentional use of colloquial language 😉

This entry was posted in Writing. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Save Punctuation

  1. She whispers rebellion at night
    Exclaims it in full-throated verse
    Questions (yes, questions!) the government’s right
    To curb how we write for the worse.


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