Do not apply to come to our school
If you cannot comply with every rule
And if your child has SEND
We’re not the place for them to be.
There’s another school just up the road
And we don’t plan to spread the load
They’ll take you on, they love to share
So go to them – you’ll be happier there.
The cost of uniform, as you’ll see
Makes this an expensive place to be
If you can’t afford it, well maybe think twice
Go somewhere else, is the best advice.
Our rules are strict, we’ve very tough
And if you don’t like it, that’s fair enough
We only work with those who support
So go to a school that accepts your sort.
Ofsted have told us that we can be strict
When Spielman said it, well things just clicked
We’ll make lots more rules, claim high expectations
Not have to bother with awkward relations.
This isn’t a partnership – don’t be silly
Find somewhere else for little Billy
He’s not the right sort, he needs careful handling
He’ll ruin our chances of getting outstanding.
Reasonable adjustments? What’s that you say?
An inclusive system that won’t turn you away?
Oh they’ve got all that in the school next door
They’ll have space for you, of that we’re sure.
So don’t come here if your child’s defiant
We don’t do well if they’re not compliant
They’ll be much better off in another place
Somewhere not interested in winning the race.
What do you mean we’re your local school?
That doesn’t matter, don’t be a fool
When the government said that you had a choice
They forgot to say you won’t have a voice.
So go where they want you but don’t come here
Run along now, be quick my dear
We only take children who yearn to be taught
And your child? Well obviously. Not the right sort.